You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
