Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
