If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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