Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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