apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
