So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
