yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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