i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
