the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
