i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
