thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
