laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
