never play flip cup with pint glasses
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
