There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
