We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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