And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
