omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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