Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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