Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The adults are the big ones right?
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