one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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