Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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