Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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