I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
then he tried to convert me to islam
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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