If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
