Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
