I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
