And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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