He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
