By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
