so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
