The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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