So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
