that's an acceptable place to lick
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
