you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
