We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
