I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
