In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
