could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
