Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
