thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize