Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
