Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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