She announced her abortion via fbk
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
