the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
