i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
