i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
