U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
