I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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