Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
