oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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