...so i touched it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
